Strawberries are the most seductive plants. They just wink at you with their innocently sexy red berries. They seem to call out to you, with the promise of a juicy nibble. They’re also supposed to be easy.
Every growing season I’m tempted by that siren plant called Strawberry. It whispers in my ear, ”Wouldn’t it be amazing to have me on the balcony? To skip out the back door & bite into a fresh berry?”
No, because Strawberry is a tease. She likes having me wrapped around her little stems, but she just doesn’t like to put out.
Three summers I’ve tried to grow strawberry plants. Every time it’s failed miserably. Last summer I even sternly told myself no. How much money had I wasted in the past on plants & containers & soil & compost & time? So last year, instead of wasting precious resources, I dreamt about growing strawberries all summer long. Years previous had seen plants just not produce or plants that would wither & die. And one year I bought plants online. Out of the dozen that arrived moldy, one or two were useable, until they died a week later.
Yesterday, that siren called to me again. I was unintentionally riding my bike past the garden center when I remembered, my beet seeds from a few years ago hadn’t sprouted well this year. How many months has it been since I’ve been lusting after the variety called bull’s blood? I veered into the parking lot, then made my way towards the seeds.
A short stop was required as I enviously stared at all the seedlings that would put my garden a month ahead from where it was. Yet I persevered- best not to became tempted by too many expensive things.
I found the seeds & scooped up my beets, looking around like Gollum. Such precious little seeds & such a precious little picture of those blood red beet greens.
Surely, now that I had what I came in for I would be on my merry. But what could it hurt to look at the other seeds? Oh, look, buy two packets from the Thompson & Morgan seed company & get one free. My, my, mignonette strawberries just happen to be one of the ones they’re offering for free. How tiny those berries look, how adorable, how- precious. I’ve been wanting to grow parsley & cilantro for quite some time now. Surely I ought to buy those- they are some of the herbs I use the most. And if it just happens that buying them will get me free strawberries, well, that’s not my fault is it? It certainly can’t be helped.
That hussy. She played me. Strawberry lured me in off the street & tricked me into buying her. So now, I’ve broken my vow of strawberry celibacy. Lord help me! It was free! How could I resist? No mere mortal could.
And so last night, in the dark, when I should have been studying for finals, I planted my new herb & beet seeds. But Strawberry, I’m hoping if I treat her real well she’ll finally at least give me a kiss. I planted her inside & I’m keeping her all to myself. There will be no putting her out in the cold, no risking those damned wiley squirrels digging up her precious little roots.
Help me dear readers, am I alone in having been suckered in by a harlot of a plant? Is there something you try to grow year after year without success? Do you have any strawberry container growing tips? Maybe that’s it. Strawberry just doesn’t like my containers. Should I get fancy tricked out pots that will self-water & are covered in bling? What do you think? While normally I abhor such things, Strawberry may just need her name spelled out in rhinestones.